Who is Prof. Coffee?
Prof. Coffee is Vanderbilt University professor Gerald Figal masquerading as a coffee roaster. Prof. Coffee’s website address is: http://prof-coffee.com. The analog Prof. Coffee can be contacted at: gerald@prof-coffee.com. This website was designed to provide a more convenient way for friends and colleagues at Vanderbilt to satisfy their addiction. All images on Prof. Coffee were created by text prompts fed into two AI image generators, Midjourney and, appropriately, NightCafé.
Terms of Fulfillment
• This is primarily a roast-to-order operation, meaning that Prof. Coffee keeps little to no pre-roasted beans in stock. The stock numbers displayed on product pages refer to the number of 250g bags possible with existing stock of green (unroasted) beans. This ensures that you are getting very freshly roasted coffee, far fresher than what you’ll find at grocery stores and even specialty coffee shops.
• Orders are taken throughout the workweek. All orders in by midnight on Friday will be prepared over the weekend and personally delivered on Vanderbilt University campus on Monday morning (unless you really want to pay for shipping!). Prof. Coffee operates under the cottage food laws of Tennessee, meaning that all sales and delivery must take place within Tennessee. Orders intended for out-of-state are denied on checkout.
• Payment is handled directly on the Checkout page at time of order. Several options are available. Venmo (@Gerald-Figal) is encouraged to avoid fees incurred to handle Apple Pay, Google Pay, and traditional credit/debit card transactions, but feel free to use Apple/Google Pay or a credit/debit card if you must and don’t mind the 5% credit card processing fee that is added upon checkout for purchases by these non-Venmo means. Sorry about the surcharge, but it’s the price of freedom. And I don’t charge you tax and shipping!
• Given that freshly roasted beans usually require at least a couple days to de-gas to reach full flavor, it is recommended you wait a day or two before use. Properly resealing and storing your stash in a cool dry place will ensure longer freshness. Typically, you can expect fine flavor that will evolve over the course of two to three weeks or longer.
Data Privacy
• When visitors leave comments on the site the gremlins who work for Prof. Coffee collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.
• If you leave a comment on Prof. Coffee you may opt-in to saving your name, email address, and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year although many people would like to have cookies all day, every day, forever. If you visit the login page, Prof. Coffee sets a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies (I mean, who wouldn’t accept a cookie?). This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.
• Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service.
• When you log in, Prof. Coffee’s gremlins also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select “Remember Me” your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be eaten by the gremlins.
• If you request a password reset, your IP address will be included in the reset email.
How Long Prof. Coffee Retains Your Data
• If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so Prof. Coffee can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.
• For registered users, Prof. Coffee also stores the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Prof. Coffee himself can also see and edit that information.
Your Rights Over Your Data
If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data Prof. Coffee holds about you. You can also request that any personal data held about you be erased. This does not include any data Prof. Coffee is obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.